Monday, 7 July 2008

Losing the main aspect of my personality

Guess what happened to me.

Tired of trying to work out what happened? Or have you figured out that however long you spend trying to guess what happened it wont matter because I am going to eventually tell you what happened and break the suspence?

I think I'll tell you now.

Towel (remember towel?) kissed me last night.

We were walking back from a party to the area where both he and my friend, Jamz, lives and when he walked us to Jamz's house, he kissed me goodbye. And it wasn't one of those 'IM HORNY' kisses, it felt really meaningfull.

It's weird. Usually I'd be thinking this is a good thing, and I'd be really excited about it. But I'm not. And through this post I'm aiming to try and figure out why the hell i'm not happy about it.

I mean, I've liked him for quite a bit, on and off, so thats even more reason for me to be confused at why I'm not HAPPY.

Maybe it's because I haven't kissed/been kised like that since Kaz. But last time me and Towel wer getting close it all went really bad and messed up. I really have changed in that way.

Remember what I said a while ago about Sheep? About how whenever I approach him a danger sign comes up in my head. Well, this is starting to happen with every guy now I guess.

Ever since Kaz I've been put off boys.

It's taken me a while to actually admit it...but I think that's whats happened.


It's not like I'm completely put off boys, I mean I'm still very interested in boys, I'm still attracted to some of them...hah.

I'm just terrifyed of getting hurt.




Chu said...

Terrified about being hurt?

Welcome to the club. Have a sit and make yourself comfortable.

Well, I guess this is something that everybody (yeah, eeeeeeeeverybody) feels from time to time. Or always. Sometimes what changes is that after some time and after realizing that you may get hurt anyway, even if the guy is Mr. Perfect-and-Loyal, you worry less. And then you also hurt less.


Chu said...

you hurt, you get hurt, you're hurt. Pardon my poor grammar, it's late and I'm tired. :-PP

Spazology said...

awww, im sorry. i know exactly how that feels. =/ but dont let it get in the way. I mean Towel can end up being a very happy part of your life. Now I am not talking marriage but yadayadayada. But youll never know unless you take the plunge. And if its not meant to be its not meant to be. So go out there! There are memories to be made.