The show must have (just as I suspected) been SO painful for everyone in the audience, because the stage is so MAHOOSIVE, you couldn't hear any of the chorus work...at all.
And the younger people put barely ANY effort into it whatsoever.
I was bloody sweating after my solo 'Somebody to love'...which went better than expected.
Also, everyone of my friends who said they would come came...but what's more is that everyone who said they probably wouldn't come came too...apart from Kaz (who said he would come when we were together)...but tbh, he probably wouldn't have been that supportive at the end anyway, and he's not obliged to support me anyway...so why would he have come?...shut up. About half of the left side of the audience was taken up with people from my school!! Of course they didn't JUST come to see me, 'cause another one of my friends. Shar, was in it too she was SO good, we had this scene with her..(you know the last scene that I told you about?...the one I was crapping myself about?) and she filled in lines for another girl who was hopeless in that particular scene...well tbh we were all pretty hopeless compared to the rest of the show.
At the end of the show they were all screaming my name and some of them threw flowers at me...good thing too, if they'd thrown tomatoes I would have just picked one up and eaten it. oh well.
I went to a restaurant afterwards..and after that to a friend's house with quite a few other people. Everyone was telling me how 'amazing' i was...it made me feel so buzzy. Some of them said I 'glued the show together'. HAHA two of my friends were actually crying at the end...I asked them how bad I was and they were like I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
I want to do the show again, NOW.
But anyway...school tomorrow...church today.
I want a boyfriend already, i need one...otherwise I'll get depressed, why can't you just walk up to a random hot guy and said 'Hello, would you like to be my boyfriend?'???? It's just not done, but why? I just miss having someone to go to who I can be open and affectionate to...and they can be back...Kaz wasn't very affectionate....okay shut up now.
Also, the cosmic horn is getting worse...couldn't I at least have the general horn?...it would be easier. I need to like someone, it makes life so much more interesting, I still like Kaz, but I'm definitely not gonna try anything, or get back together...well I might try the whole friends with benefits thing...but I doubt it will work, it would basically be the same as what it was like actually going out with him, he'll act like we're not together at school...then when we're both 'horny' it will be as if we are going out...but less.
I kind of feel like once his mother got back from India he like didn't want/need me anymore, and that was one of the reasons it all went downhill (including my extreme tendencies to moan to excess). I mean, if this was the case I think it would be quite sweet that he wanted some sort of woman in his life, to kind of look after him. But why did I have to make it me?!
I just sort of wish I hadn't got emotionally involved with him, I don't think we made a good couple, we're so different, and everyone was telling me that all along, they were all saying that they didn't think he treated me very well, and I should have listened. But oh well, I didn't.
Ugh, I really don't know how to get my point across to you few readers!
He is really nice inside, like REALLY nice,as in, helps his elderly neighbor bring her shopping into her house. And that cannot be good for his "image"
He just has a quite tough outer shell, but once you break through it he's such a lovable person.
I want to be friends with him though, not cause I still 'fancy' him, but because he's hilarious, and good to talk to. But I'm gonna leave it to him, cause blah blah he's the one who broke up with me...there are rules and I need to wait until HE's ready to start talking...but then what if I don't start a conversation with him an he thinks I'm ignoring him..then he never talks to me again? He's so confusing like that! This is quite a philosophical topic...agreed? It just keeps going.
Whatever, I just need to find something else to blog about other than Kaz.
...........this could take a while.
I think I'll go now,